As a child and even in my early adulthood, I suffered from rejection. Rejection from my mother, my sisters, men, friends and associates. While I hid behind my 'don't care' attitude it didn't change the fact that I felt rejected by many. I remember becoming mute simply because I felt that people would say things or I wouldn't sound 'smart'. For example, I loved studying as child. I would have books upon books of work that I would do over the holidays to carry back to my teacher when school re-opens and my sisters and they would tell me things like '"you feel you bright", " you feel you better than people", ' you feel you know everything" and it went on. Because I felt like the square peg in the round hole; I locked away into myself. I would be teased of not having any butt, being too skinny and always sick. Additionally, my sisters and I were never close as children and so they would have teamed up against me. I believe it had alot to do with how my mother related with me; being considered my father's 'favourite'
Moreso, my first experience in a relationship was traumatic; the sad thing is that I didn't know how badly it affected me, even in my adulthood. Being told that I was loved but my body wasn't attactive enough. Or, being ignored because it was believed that I was heavily dependant on his love. I accepted the lies and abuse because it was all I could have held on to. Many 'friends' came into my life for periods and when they benefited, they left me. I always felt as though something was wrong with me.
I always had a desire to have a better body. I thought that my 'knocked knee' was a curse and my little 'rat face' wasn't cute. Being flat chested even in my late teens made me wonder if something was wrong. While I did modelling for a while and took part in pageants, I still felt that I wasn't good enough. I believed the lies that were spoken to me.
As a wife, I still have insecurites as it relates to my physical body and so, I have my 'paranoid' moments where I think I'm not good enough for my husband; this worsened even after I had children. I will constantly ask him if he is still attaracted to me. I would also have anger moments and kick tantrums because I battled with my esteem.
As the title of this article suggests; rejection likes company. Most times, if not all the time, anyone battling with rejection usually has low sef-esteem, lack of confidence, lonlieness, depression, anger and resentment. With rejection, there is always an expectation of hearing 'bad news' or negative thoughts are constantly in your mind. I remember it was so bad that if I entered a room and people were laughing I would automatically think they were laughing at me.
Being a victim of rejection can be so painful especially when the hurt is rooted deep inside. Today, even though I am a motivational speaker, teacher, woman's advocate and most importantly a believer of Jesus Christ; I am now getting over the remnants of rejection. I have gained much confidence as I built a relationship with God and the more I get to know him the more confident I have become. However, there are still things I haven't totally let go but I am now very open about it because I don't want it for anyone, not even my enemy.
In conclusion, here are some things that has worked for me and still is working for me:
1. Develop a relationship with God and be touched by HIm.
2. Make your prayer life consistent
3. Be honest with yourself
4. Talk to one person who you know you can trust and who can help (counseling)
5.Know when to let go and be determine to do so
6. Get up from having a pity party(get out of the victim zone)
7. Use the reject to improve you
8. Speak positive things in your life; look yourself in the mirror and declare that you are great ALOUD (everyday)