As a little girl growing up, there were many sleepless nights because of the madhouse my home became. My mum, I know for sure, was heartbroken and hurt since my father left us. She had to take care of all seven of us. She had to send us all to school, made sure we had our basic necessities and still try to keep her head above the water. It became worst as the years passed. Many times the Electricity Company would come and disconnect the lights because we couldn’t pay the bill, we had to literally steal electricity until mum could have figured out where the monies were coming from. The bank wrote as they were going to sell the house because the mortgage couldn’t be maintained. Sometimes even the water was disconnected because we couldn't afford to cover that bill too.
Countless times, we had to eat bread morning, noon and night; only because it was the only ingredients found in the cupboards. The refrigerator became so bare and eating out side was a luxury, so whenever that happened it was like a child receiving an expensive toy around Christmas time. We lived on the very basics. Brand name clothes were always hand-me-downs.
There were days when I would watch mum clean the house with tears running down her cheek, her blood pressure was always high and we lived with fear daily because we were afraid that she would suffer a second stroke. This affected me terribly; emotionally and psychologically.It was hard. From sibling rivalry, missing my Dad, not feeling loved by my mother; I felt like my life seemed hopeless.As I began to develop into a young lady, I started doing things that I shouldn’t have been doing. Unknowing to anyone, I started smoking and drinking and I became a violent creature. I then started the blame game, I blamed my father for destroying our family as much as I loved him and I blamed my mother for not being a mother to me. I just didn’t care anymore.
BUT THERE IS A GOD!!! With thoughts of suicide bombarding my mind; he stepped in. That intervention was the beginning of a new phase in my life. I eventually gave my life to Jesus Christ. The journey was rough as he shaped me in to becoming who I am today; I discovered my true potential as I got to see myself in a new light. Old things were passed away and everything became new to me. It was painful but worth it. I MADE IT...Won a scholarship to Monroe College NY, did my best and graduated with highest honours, started a Dance Ministry there, my foundation (SHE Foundation) was birthed there as well.
Today, I am a proud believer of Jesus Christ, the wife of an amazing man and a mother of two beautiful children; something that I would have rebuked and denied when I was younger. I had a negative mindset where marriage and family life was concern. If I didn't understand why my life was the way it was then, I sure do now. I know what I do not want for my family and what I can do differently. I want to encourage you reading this blog, that our circumstances can really shape the person we become and the person we become is by choice. Every obstacle that comes your way is to shape your character. Inside you there is greater than you think; you just have to FIGHT YOUR GOLIATHS!!!!